Here I sit on another rooftop, in another country, some two years later. I am still that person I was, still the same I always have been, yet somehow, I am more full. More complete. This fullness comes with the understanding that I have not been able to achieve what I came here to do. I did not save the world. I did not discover my true calling in life. However, I understand now. I understand that saving the world is not, and never will be, the work of one individual. Not even the honorable man we can finally call our president-elect can do this on his own. The amount of suffering and problems in this world are unimaginable from a basement apartment in Manhattan, no matter how global, open-mind, or compassionate I attempted to be. I wish I could say I felt like I made a big difference, but that would be a lie. I was naïve and self-centered to think I could achieve lasting impact on my own. What I know now is that this work will be achieved by the hands, minds, and hearts, of many.
I also understand now that my own future is unmapable. Everything we see, hear, and experience, influences us. Some people, some stories more than others. Some have that stickiness, that pull that inspires us to not only react, but to take action. Some opportunities are missed, but if we can be patient, more will present themselves. I am learning to be patient. Cambodia is not a country of constant connection, ready-set-go career paths, or hyper-expectations. This adjustment has been difficult, and on some days, I still struggle with the question of "What, exactly, are you doing here Liz?" The answer is not something I can easily defend. I am here to grow, experience, and learn, and that's all we can ever hope to do.
As my time here quickly comes to an end, I wish I could have done more. I wish I had more time, and I wish I didn't have to go home. But now I know what is here. And I want to know more. I hope to return with more of these lessons and to continue to share with others.
