If you wander around the internet, you inevitably come across a blog or two about someone's reaction to the events of their life/the world. They are all filled with emotion and exclamation points or ellipses or semicolons, whatever the author's favorite punctuation mark is. They aren't usually boring, but they aren't particularly stimulating, and I only read them to waste time or learn about my friends' ridiculous lives, or find out about what's going on the indie music scene.
I don't have a ridiculous or particularly interesting life. Nothing that crazy really happens to me. I am cautious, and when I'm not I don't tell people about it. That's because I don't want to feel embarrassed/slutty/stupid about what I've done. And I don't want you to think less of me. I have these blocky things in my brain that push things out after a while. I bet you wish you had those. I can literally forget anything I want. And then it never happened. If you are always reminding me of it though, I can't forget. See? It's pretty cool.
I don't have the authority to comment on music, except to say whether or not I liked it, which is helpful to... well... NO ONE unless they have the exact same taste as me.
I don't want to contribute to the wasting timeness of the world. There are many more important things you could be doing with your life. Like getting it together. So I took the link off my facebook (I'm pretty sure no one clicked it anyway) and this may or may not be my last blog entry.
At least until things get more interesting/noteworthy. Or maybe I'm not paying enough attention...?
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Saturday, December 22, 2007
3:33 am
Why am I still awake? Sleeping all day is definitely not conducive to sleeping right now. Nor are crusty, gaping, throbbing holes in the back of my throat. Holes where my tonsils used to be. Even if my throat didn't hurt, I would still be afraid to eat because food would definitely get stuck in these blackholes and who knows where it would go next? Ew. Sorry, enough grossness.
So I guess this is as good a time as any to explain Charlotte, North Carolina, as I have come to know her.
Everybody talks to you here. Not like the homeless guys on 3rd who yell things at you when you pass, but sane people. Or, seemingly sane people (I believe everyone is a little crazy) that are home-ful, yet still don't know you at all. I don't know how to deal with this. I'm a nice person in new york, but I don't think this translates here. First of all, I don't know you, I don't care. Secondly, why do you care? I don't think you do. So let's save us some time, and let me carry on my merry way. I have gotten good at avoiding these probing types but sometimes its inevitable. ie.) the dentist office. I have frequented the dentist office this week, in addition to the doctors and the hospital. (I never recommend avoiding your medical appointments for 3 years, there is hell to pay) Anyways, my dentist, and the assistant, and the hygienist, all asked what I'm doing with my life, and expect me to know! and my answer that I'm majoring in international business only leads to, "hmm interesting, what do you plan on doing with that?" Now, even if I knew the answer to this question, I couldn't tell them because they have already stuffed plastic wedges and cotton tubes in my mouth, and begun to make me feel guilty about my flossing habits. So they continue to talk about me while a I lay completely conscious, but completely mute.
Which leads to my unconscious experience of today. Anesthesia is the weirdest thing ever. It hits you before you even know they have switched your IV tube, and then you wake up with no idea that anything has happened. You especially don't realize that someone has stuck a tube down your throat to videotape the tiny incisions they are making. This is what the nurse told me, pre-surgery, after asking what I was doing with my life, of course.
The radio here is a pretty even blend of County, Top 40 hip hop (that bleeps out swear words like "drugs" and "crap") and Praise music. And in December, about half of these stations transform into the respective Christmas version of themselves.
The grocery store here is called Harris Teeter. I don't get the name, but I do like that they have sliced mini samples of all produce. The delicatessen gives you little slices of cheese before cutting up a whole pound, as if to sample the aroma, like wine.
The streets here are all named something to do with Providence. I live in Providence Plantation, off of Providence Road, off of Providence Lane. The name of the school I would have gone to if I ever really lived here? Providence. I am lost 70% of the time. Thank goodness the bros have their licenses and these drugs officially forbid me from driving.
Charlotte has a "booming down town". All seven blocks have banking buildings and newly developed condos. Condos I have had the pleasure of touring over Thanksgiving Break with my parents when they were baiting me into living here. This promptly led to a minor panic attack where my attempts to swallow my tears in front of the realtor caused me to cry more, and my skin to get all white and pink-polka dotty. (which was reflected magnificently on every surface of this glowing tower) They were beautiful shiny new buildings filled with white people in pastel polos all between the ages of 24 and 30. 2nd street has never been so perfect to me as it was in this moment.
So I guess this is as good a time as any to explain Charlotte, North Carolina, as I have come to know her.
Everybody talks to you here. Not like the homeless guys on 3rd who yell things at you when you pass, but sane people. Or, seemingly sane people (I believe everyone is a little crazy) that are home-ful, yet still don't know you at all. I don't know how to deal with this. I'm a nice person in new york, but I don't think this translates here. First of all, I don't know you, I don't care. Secondly, why do you care? I don't think you do. So let's save us some time, and let me carry on my merry way. I have gotten good at avoiding these probing types but sometimes its inevitable. ie.) the dentist office. I have frequented the dentist office this week, in addition to the doctors and the hospital. (I never recommend avoiding your medical appointments for 3 years, there is hell to pay) Anyways, my dentist, and the assistant, and the hygienist, all asked what I'm doing with my life, and expect me to know! and my answer that I'm majoring in international business only leads to, "hmm interesting, what do you plan on doing with that?" Now, even if I knew the answer to this question, I couldn't tell them because they have already stuffed plastic wedges and cotton tubes in my mouth, and begun to make me feel guilty about my flossing habits. So they continue to talk about me while a I lay completely conscious, but completely mute.
Which leads to my unconscious experience of today. Anesthesia is the weirdest thing ever. It hits you before you even know they have switched your IV tube, and then you wake up with no idea that anything has happened. You especially don't realize that someone has stuck a tube down your throat to videotape the tiny incisions they are making. This is what the nurse told me, pre-surgery, after asking what I was doing with my life, of course.
The radio here is a pretty even blend of County, Top 40 hip hop (that bleeps out swear words like "drugs" and "crap") and Praise music. And in December, about half of these stations transform into the respective Christmas version of themselves.
The grocery store here is called Harris Teeter. I don't get the name, but I do like that they have sliced mini samples of all produce. The delicatessen gives you little slices of cheese before cutting up a whole pound, as if to sample the aroma, like wine.
The streets here are all named something to do with Providence. I live in Providence Plantation, off of Providence Road, off of Providence Lane. The name of the school I would have gone to if I ever really lived here? Providence. I am lost 70% of the time. Thank goodness the bros have their licenses and these drugs officially forbid me from driving.
Charlotte has a "booming down town". All seven blocks have banking buildings and newly developed condos. Condos I have had the pleasure of touring over Thanksgiving Break with my parents when they were baiting me into living here. This promptly led to a minor panic attack where my attempts to swallow my tears in front of the realtor caused me to cry more, and my skin to get all white and pink-polka dotty. (which was reflected magnificently on every surface of this glowing tower) They were beautiful shiny new buildings filled with white people in pastel polos all between the ages of 24 and 30. 2nd street has never been so perfect to me as it was in this moment.
Monday, December 3, 2007
snowday
Today was the first snowfall in Manhattan. Most people think that snow is pretty and festive, at least until Christmas. I have never thought this. Being in the snow in the city means stepping in mysterious gray piles, that may actually turn out to be two-feet-deep freezing puddles, and developing knots in your back because you can't unclench your freezing muscles. Also, it seems my skin has developed an allergy to cold air in recent years, so the snow actually gives me hives. According to DrGreene.com, I am not alone in this condition.
"Some people develop hives on the skin when they encounter cold temperatures. This condition, called cold urticaria, is the most common type of hives caused by a physical condition. The hives are produced by a rapid release of histamine brought about by IgE antibodies and eosinophils (a type of white blood cell often involved in allergic reactions) in response to the cold. Rapid cooling, as from the evaporation when one gets out of a swimming pool, can trigger cold urticaria even on a warm day. For people with cold urticaria, swimming in very cold water is quite dangerous, sometimes even causing death."
Interesting. I will be sure to avoid diving in the arctic from now on.
But today, I welcomed the cold! Sometimes, when a lot of things happen in not a lot of time, I can't figure out whats going on, how I feel, or what to do next. I need to process things in pieces. I dissect all details, and the but-what-abouts and the maybe-sos until my ability to make decisions is replaced by a heavy, gray fog matter. But when you wake up to a world that is different than the one you fell asleep in the night before, you are granted a gracious helping of perspective. And if thats not enough, the cold will certainly slap you hard in the face an knock some of the gray out of your brain.
Sunday, December 2, 2007
if you always get up late...
What an awful awful awful show the Real World is. Not only are all the people on the show completely ridiculous (except for Cohutta, he's so cute and nice and not a complete asshole), but it makes me stay up later and later because I care SO MUCH about what's going to happen with retard #1's stupid temper, or retard #2's gullibility and sluttyness. I have officially finished watching all the episodes from this season so far, and I did it over a matter of 5 days after the hour of midnight. PATHETIC. So as a result of the Real World Sydney, at least 3 bad things have happened to me:
a) I am sick with a stuffy nose and throat
b) I am so tired because I force myself to wake up early even after staying up past 3 or 4 or 5 or 6 a.m.
c) I don't actually get anything done when I wake up early because I'm too tired, so I lay around and then try to make myself stay awake but end up taking naps and complaining about how much of a waste I am
Getting motivated is impossible when nothing is due until December 11th. That's more than a week away. Too bad I am going to Dublin this weekend and definitely will not get anything done while I'm there. I need to do things TODAY and TOMORROW or forever hold my peace, but it just doesn't seem urgent enough yet to actually get off my bed for. So I think I will take a nap. My roommate is sleeping anyway. Might as well follow suit.
a) I am sick with a stuffy nose and throat
b) I am so tired because I force myself to wake up early even after staying up past 3 or 4 or 5 or 6 a.m.
c) I don't actually get anything done when I wake up early because I'm too tired, so I lay around and then try to make myself stay awake but end up taking naps and complaining about how much of a waste I am
Getting motivated is impossible when nothing is due until December 11th. That's more than a week away. Too bad I am going to Dublin this weekend and definitely will not get anything done while I'm there. I need to do things TODAY and TOMORROW or forever hold my peace, but it just doesn't seem urgent enough yet to actually get off my bed for. So I think I will take a nap. My roommate is sleeping anyway. Might as well follow suit.
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Prague-y Christmas
Today was our "christmasday" (all one word because it's not Christmas Day, but a day for doing Christmas related things). We woke up early (at least tried), went to brunch at Red Hot & Blues (which was disappointing by the way. Sucky cappuccino and so-so breakfast burrito), went ice skating in some old wooden barn looking place, watched the tree-lighting ceremony in Old Town Square and are about to start making sugar cookies while watching Love Actually. Cute, I know. The tree-lighting thing was funny and lame and awesome. They had people on stage from Radio Cityyyy! (this Czech radio station I listen to in the darkroom) and some brass band from Slovakia. I was making up the words to what they were saying since I couldn't understand them. "Welcome, Honza, to Old Town Square! Look at all those teenage girls yelling and pushing everyone around them! Typical Prague behavior. Anyway, let's all talk at the same time! The Christmas tree is real and it's 25 meters high! Countdown! 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1! Lighting malfunction! Oh maybe not! There go the red lights!" and so on. This is what their spastic yelling conversation through huge old microphones sounded like to me. After that relatively anticlimactic lighting (I don't know why I expected something more amazing, like fireworks or people jumping off buildings, but it didn't seem that cool to just push a button and watch some lights go off on this giant Christmas tree), we went to the fried dough stand where I got a fried dough with garlic, ketchup (yes, Heinz ketchup) and shredded cheese. Nasty sounding, but SO amazing. I inhaled that thing. Never order anything with that much garlic and/or ketchup when you are starving. That's why I cannot move from a horizontal position on my bed right now. Gross. I'm such a fatty. And I don't care! Woooo Prague!!! Happy christmasday :)
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