The Night I Stayed Up Until 7:00 a.m.

I don't know why I thought it was a good idea to stay up until 7 a.m. I don't think it was so much about whether or not it was a good idea, but more that it wasn't a bad idea. I used to do things only if they benefited me in some way, but now more and more I do things because I see no good reason not to. This is bad because a) I waste much more time that I used to and b) it makes my morals and values go even further down the drain so my conscience doesn't know how to come up with any sort of quality logic. I'm kind of embarrassed to admit this, but Prague has not only made me dumb down my language so Czech people can understand me, but it's also made me feel like the worst kind of goody-goody there is. I have not been any kind of goody-goody since 6th grade when I decided to get rid of my glasses and start flirting.

Okay, that's not the point. The point is that I learned a lot the night I stayed up until 7 a.m. For example, I learned:

• It's okay to think about sex a lot, like a boy, because it makes it better when you actually do it since you have thought about exactly what you want to do and how you want things to go.
• I like TV shows so much because it makes me feel better about my own life when I have someone else's fucked up story to follow.
• Sometimes you can love someone with every inch of your whole entire body and still want to be with other people.
• It's hard to admit that you're an attention whore. But if you lose the attention of one person and find yourself trying desperately to get it from anyone else who will talk to you, then what does that make you?
  
• Sometimes talking about it makes it so much better.
• Sometimes talking about it means nothing. You just have to do it already.
• If you have ever had feelings for someone in the past, they will probably never go away unless you do something about it and your feelings change.
  
• Watching the sun rise can suck sometimes.
• Your own feelings can make other people's not matter at all. If you want something bad enough it doesn't matter if you kill others along the way. Now I finally understand that.