I need to write a new post so that everytime I open this blog I don't see the last post. Sometimes I can think about him and be fine. I can say that he still thinks about me every day like I think about him and in 3 weeks or less he will call me and tell me that I'm the only one he will ever love. Other times every single song that we ever listened to together start playing through my head simultaneously, especially the really sappy lyrics like "I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go, stop breathing if I don't see you anymore," and I start crying uncontrollably and can't get the stupid lyrics OUT of my head. It's not actually uncontrollable crying. As soon as I listen to some upbeat girl music, like Cyndi Lauper or Blondie or Katy Rose or Alanis Morissette I'm fine. And then I can pretend to forget about my broken heart for at least an hour until Nickelback or Augustana or O.A.R. creep back into my thoughts. Stupid and annoying. I want my heart back. I want him to say, here, I'm sorry for ruining your semester abroad. I'm sorry for worrying about you cheating on me every single second of every day. I'm sorry for making you cry when you couldn't call me from another country because your phone wouldn't make outgoing calls and your hostel didn't have Skype. I'm sorry I didn't try harder to contact you or send you letters or emails. I'm sorry that I tricked you into giving me your heart when I knew I couldn't handle it in the first place. Here, you can have it back.
Thanks.
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