you may see me...

You may see me when I'm on the run
You may see me when I'm all undone
You may see me smoking a cigarette
You may see me and try to forget
But you won't forget

You got the eyes to look for what you saw
And when you don't win or lose i guess you draw
I had to leave i guess you had to stay
Don't come looking babe
Cause if you look too hard
I might just look away

You may see me but you never know
You may see me in Ohio

You got the eyes to look for what you saw
And when you don't win or lose i guess you draw
I had to leave i guess you had to stay
Don't come looking babe
Cause if you look too hard
I might just look away

Don't come looking babe
Don't come looking babe
Cause if you look too hard
You'll find me in the wrong place

You got the eyes to look for what you saw
And when you don't win or lose i guess you draw
I had to leave i guess you had to stay
Don't come looking babe
Cause if you look too hard
I might just look away

You may see me when I ain't got a thing

~GP

pocahontas

Is it possible to be all the heroins at once? I suppose thats what all little girls want--to be the princess in every story. I actually would like to add an additional option: Megara from Hercules!! But alas, for now I am Pocahontas. Thats cool though, I would enjoy learning to paint with wind-colors.

Ariel
[x] Your parents expect a lot from you
[ ] You really try to follow the rules, but it’s hard for you
[ ] You’re a bit of a trouble maker
[ ] You’re the youngest in your family
[ ] You have a lot of sisters (over 3)
[ ] You collect something
[x] You have/had long, hair
[x] You have/had a pet fish
[x] You’re extremely curious
[x] You believe everything people tell you/you’re a bit gullible
TOTAL: 5

Snow White
[ ] You know that you’re beautiful
[ ] Sometimes it seems like your mom is jealous of you
[ ] You’ve almost been killed
[x] You have at least seven good friends
[ ] You’ve had food poisoning
[x] You have/had short hair
[x] You get along with almost everyone
[x] All of your friends are different
[x] You love to have a good time
[x] You’re happier when you’re out of the house than in
TOTAL: 6

Mulan
[x] You can be a tomboy sometimes.
[ ] People wish you could be a bit more girly
[x] You’ve pretended to be someone you’re not
[x] You’ve had a physical fight with someone
[x] You have/had considered running away from home
[ ] Your parents try to plan your life out
[ ] A lot of your friends are boys
[x] You sometimes find yourself in bad situations
[x] You love your family so much that you’d do anything to protect them
TOTAL: 6

Sleeping Beauty
[x] You live/have lived with someone other than your parents
[ ] You almost died at a very young age
[x] You are gentle, loving, and/or thoughtful
[x] You have a decent singing voice
[x] You like to sleep in late on the weekends
[x] You spend most of your time outside
[ ] You’re adopted
[x] You have/had long hair
[ ] You’re very romantic
[ ]Pink is one of your favorite colors
TOTAL: 6

Pocahontas;
[x] You love to walk around and explore your city
[x] You are more spiritual than religious
[ ] You’ve been in an interracial relationship
[x] One of your family members is dead (mom, dad, sister, brother, grandma, grandpa)
[ ] Your parents are very protective of you
[x] Someone you know has been in war
[x] You love nature
[ ]You have/had black hair
[x] You would love to move somewhere exotic and beautiful
[x] You’re very adventurous
TOTAL: 7

Pricesses ALWAYS make everything better. Thanks Nicole :)

This was fun, but I tied on Belle, Ariel, Sleeping Beauty, and Pocahontas. Umm....? I am definitely not Belle or Pocahontas. Ariel is kind of stupid, sooo I want to be Sleeping Beauty. She's the prettiest/best. Your turn!

Belle
[x] You’ve been with someone your friends didn’t like
[ ] You’ve been lost in the forest
[ ] You love to read
[x] You are not shy at all, and not afraid to speak your mind
[x] One of your family members is a bit weird
[x] You have done volunteer work
[x] You have a wild imagination
[ ] You love to take care of people in need
[x] You’ve had guys like you only because they think you’re pretty
[x] You’ve rejected at least one person when they’ve asked you out
TOTAL: 7

Cinderella
[ ] One of your parents is dead
[ ] You are expected to do a lot of chores
[x] You love to dress up
[x] You love animals
[x]You are waiting patiently for your Prince Charming
[ ] Your mom is really strict
[ ] You have sisters who seem kind of jealous of you
[ ] You’re afraid to speak your mind sometimes
[x] You have left your shoes at a friend’s house before
[x]You have blonde hair
TOTAL: 5

Jasmine
[ ]Your dad is very rich
[ ] You are very clever
[x] You’ve been with someone way different from you
[ ]You’re unique and different from everyone else (this is stupid and I'm not answering it)
[x] You’d never marry someone just because they were rich
[x] You have set a lot of goals for yourself
[ ] You don’t have a lot of friends
[x] You’re independent
[ ] You are wealthy
[ ] Your parents try to control your life
TOTAL: 4

Ariel
[x] Your parents expect a lot from you
[x] You really try to follow the rules, but it’s hard for you
[ ] You’re a bit of a trouble maker
[x] You’re the youngest in your family (does half sister count?)
[ ] You have a lot of sisters (over 3)
[ ] You collect something
[x] You have/had long, hair
[x] You have/had a pet fish
[x] You’re extremely curious
[x] You believe everything people tell you/you’re a bit gullible
TOTAL: 7

Snow White
[ ] You know that you’re beautiful
[ ] Sometimes it seems like your mom is jealous of you
[ ] You’ve almost been killed
[x] You have at least seven good friends
[x] You’ve had food poisoning
[x] You have/had short hair
[x] You get along with almost everyone
[x] All of your friends are different
[x] You love to have a good time
[ ] You’re happier when you’re out of the house than in
TOTAL: 6

Mulan
[ ] You can be a tomboy sometimes.
[ ] People wish you could be a bit more girly
[x] You’ve pretended to be someone you’re not
[x] You’ve had a physical fight with someone
[x] You have/had considered running away from home
[ ] Your parents try to plan your life out
[x] A lot of your friends are boys
[x] You sometimes find yourself in bad situations
[ ] You love your family so much that you’d do anything to protect them
TOTAL: 5

Sleeping Beauty
[x] You live/have lived with someone other than your parents
[ ] You almost died at a very young age
[x] You are gentle, loving, and/or thoughtful (most of the time?)
[x] You have a decent singing voice
[x] You like to sleep in late on the weekends
[ ] You spend most of your time outside
[ ] You’re adopted
[x] You have/had long hair
[x] You’re very romantic
[x]Pink is one of your favorite colors
TOTAL: 7

Pocahontas;
[x] You love to walk around and explore your city
[x] You are more spiritual than religious
[ ] You’ve been in an interracial relationship
[x] One of your family members is dead (mom, dad, sister, brother, grandma, grandpa)
[x] Your parents are very protective of you
[x] Someone you know has been in war
[x] You love nature
[ ]You have/had black hair
[x] You would love to move somewhere exotic and beautiful
[ ] You’re very adventurous
TOTAL: 7

I'm sorry, but that's mine.

I need to write a new post so that everytime I open this blog I don't see the last post. Sometimes I can think about him and be fine. I can say that he still thinks about me every day like I think about him and in 3 weeks or less he will call me and tell me that I'm the only one he will ever love. Other times every single song that we ever listened to together start playing through my head simultaneously, especially the really sappy lyrics like "I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go, stop breathing if I don't see you anymore," and I start crying uncontrollably and can't get the stupid lyrics OUT of my head. It's not actually uncontrollable crying. As soon as I listen to some upbeat girl music, like Cyndi Lauper or Blondie or Katy Rose or Alanis Morissette I'm fine. And then I can pretend to forget about my broken heart for at least an hour until Nickelback or Augustana or O.A.R. creep back into my thoughts. Stupid and annoying. I want my heart back. I want him to say, here, I'm sorry for ruining your semester abroad. I'm sorry for worrying about you cheating on me every single second of every day. I'm sorry for making you cry when you couldn't call me from another country because your phone wouldn't make outgoing calls and your hostel didn't have Skype. I'm sorry I didn't try harder to contact you or send you letters or emails. I'm sorry that I tricked you into giving me your heart when I knew I couldn't handle it in the first place. Here, you can have it back.

Thanks.

what i miss most

• when you say that you'll scratch my back if i scratch yours, but then you always make me scratch your back first until you fall asleep.
• when you tickle me until i can't breathe.
• when you make sentences using every spanish word you know, even though they make no sense.
• when you wake up in the morning and your hair is all messy and soft.
• when you come home from work late at night and jump on me and kiss me all over to get me to wake up.
• when you get really angry about the existence of illegal mexicans.
• your lips.
• when you tell me how pretty i am.
• when you wrap your long arms around me and i feel my whole body get warm and tingly.
• when you let me hold your hand in public.
• when you talk about how much you miss your parents.
• when the sweat drips down the base of your spine.
• when i try to make you dinner and you complain about how i eat weird food and then you try it and actually like it.
• when you tell me you want to be with me for the rest of your life.
  
• when you drink caffeinated beer.
• when you don't understand what i'm talking about, but still pretend to so that i feel better.
• when you pretend that nothing exists except your own imperfect existence.
  
• when you tell me "everything will be okay, baby."
  

are we falling or flying?

I guess we'll never know....

Is it weird that this song was playing in my iTunes when I opened our blog? Maybe I should believe in signs after all. That has to means we are sisters or something right?

And as your sister, you can believe me when I say everything WILL be ok. Really, really it will. You have been strong to endure all the highs and lows of your relationship so far, and you will be strong enough to get through whatever may or may not happen next. And when you think you aren't, I'll be there. It's like Beaches. I'm the wind beneath your wing that keeps you flying when you think you may fall. But you wont. It will be ok.

Sometimes I hit a wall and I fall and I can’t stand up and somebody says, “Hey, it’s gonna be ok.”

The Night I Stayed Up Until 7:00 a.m.

I don't know why I thought it was a good idea to stay up until 7 a.m. I don't think it was so much about whether or not it was a good idea, but more that it wasn't a bad idea. I used to do things only if they benefited me in some way, but now more and more I do things because I see no good reason not to. This is bad because a) I waste much more time that I used to and b) it makes my morals and values go even further down the drain so my conscience doesn't know how to come up with any sort of quality logic. I'm kind of embarrassed to admit this, but Prague has not only made me dumb down my language so Czech people can understand me, but it's also made me feel like the worst kind of goody-goody there is. I have not been any kind of goody-goody since 6th grade when I decided to get rid of my glasses and start flirting.

Okay, that's not the point. The point is that I learned a lot the night I stayed up until 7 a.m. For example, I learned:

• It's okay to think about sex a lot, like a boy, because it makes it better when you actually do it since you have thought about exactly what you want to do and how you want things to go.
• I like TV shows so much because it makes me feel better about my own life when I have someone else's fucked up story to follow.
• Sometimes you can love someone with every inch of your whole entire body and still want to be with other people.
• It's hard to admit that you're an attention whore. But if you lose the attention of one person and find yourself trying desperately to get it from anyone else who will talk to you, then what does that make you?
  
• Sometimes talking about it makes it so much better.
• Sometimes talking about it means nothing. You just have to do it already.
• If you have ever had feelings for someone in the past, they will probably never go away unless you do something about it and your feelings change.
  
• Watching the sun rise can suck sometimes.
• Your own feelings can make other people's not matter at all. If you want something bad enough it doesn't matter if you kill others along the way. Now I finally understand that.
  

November 14, 2007, 12:36 am

i feel like i am falling in love with every boy i meet

you are
stop that

i fall so quickly in and out
its bad

its okay. you're like that with everything